im sorry

its just that final exams are going on right  now + im in a lot of trouble thanks to my absences (ive missed some tests and other coursework that i didnt know about and yeah i need those grades) and that i cant seem to get in touch with the teachers (emails go unreplied to + phone calls go to voicemail, i doubt they get the emails though or they might be recieved as junk/spam idk but either way no replies) + other due stuff that arent done since yeah ok lets just say im fucked over (sorry for language but i cant seem to find lighter words right now, its hard when im anything but happy, sorry) and yeah

if i end up failing any of the modules ill be especially fucked and from what im seeing its very likely that ill fail some. so. yeah. 

hand in hand with that is stress from my mother too so its not any better

in other news i went to an alternative doctor earlier this month, i forgot what his practice is called

but pretty much he used a computer and some device another to send+receive information to/from my body to find out the causes of my pains and whatnot

there are a lot of things lol

but one of them was emotional factors ie if im really unhappy/stressed/surrounded by negativity etc the pains are likely to come on/get worse

thats totally happening right now lol so i guess he knows his stuff

current 'treatment' is some supplements and stuff since the pains also seem to be caused from deficiencies and stuff

not really sure if i feel a difference yet since yeah not happy

but yeah its been proven, the worse i feel the more pain im in

anyways

im just really sorry for all of this i didnt want to tell you guys as yet or ever for that matter but i think its been happening too long for me to not tell and just yeah.

oh also you might see me as online when im not actually online 

i sometimes go on sta.sh just to upload something quickly or so and yeah itll have me as online on here so sorry

yeah thats about it

again im really sorry guys

so so sorry