Oh, hey, look at that. I'm not dead yet. Hah. Ahaha.
Sorry for my almost-two months' absence. I haven't been online since my last entry back on the 5th of January. Heh. I'm really sorry.
I'm not going to beat around the bush this time, though. My reasons for absence were depression, stress, and 'frequent' moving.
Moving sucks. I want somewhere I can comfortably call home again. We got an apartment for rent but I know it's just temporary, and even then I don't really like it either...
Oh, and by depression I mean I've finally stopped denying it(after 3 years) and have accepted that I have Major Depression and need to see a doctor to get help because it's REALLY bad, like, 100%-across-the-board bad, and has been at this point for more than a year. But, no one has that kind of money to 'waste', and my mother would never believe me anyways(I've hinted at it and come close to bluntly saying it several times prior to realizing how bad it really was - I always knew since early 2011 that I was depressed, just never realized how bad it got. But, yes, she doesn't believe it). My sister knows, so the aim was to find non-medical remedies, but nothing works so far.
Anyways, so, with the chaos going on, I need to open up commissions to get money. Consider it one of those 'emergency commissions' that many artists tend to have, yeah? But thanks to being restricted to my laptop and having to deal with shit, I can't really do too much. I'm not going to bite off more than I can chew anymore. The days of denying my limits are done. So I'm most likely just going to do non-animated icons that aren't complex, and I might
do flat-colour chibis or so. We'll see. I have to make the choices REALLY soon though. I should have already chosen by now but... Yeah... You know. I'm not going to charge much for these - I might stick to the prices I had planned to go with in 2012 - so I'd really appreciate it if you guys could commission me if you can or at least help to spread the word. We're seriously running low on money, and with a $980 rent and stuff to pay, well, it's the furthest thing from easy. My sister got a job, but my mother hasn't gotten one as yet, and of course I haven't either. It's an almost desperate situation.
I'm also going to start (actually) using my Tumblr just to see if I can garner some more attention there. I've had it up since 2012 but never used it really, hah. Right now the URL is luzare.tumblr.com/
, but I'll change the name when I change my username here.
I might also try to use my Pinterest to help out too since I have a fairly decent about of followers... Same username there, too. www.pinterest.com/luzare/
Neither of them have any bit of my artwork up as yet, but, yeah, gonna get to work with that.
Now for the less major things:
I'm going to withdraw from all the RP groups that I'm in. Which, at the moment, are AoHC
, and Poke-Village
. It was a tough and heartbreaking decision, taking me weeks to decide, but I've come to terms with the fact that I just can't keep up anymore. Especially not with AoHC
since you have to do the class assignments and all of that... Hnngh. I love these groups, I really do, but I just can't handle it. I'm sorry. I'll still keep my characters around, especially Electro and Xerith, because I love them, so I'll most likely still RP them with people. Just that, yeah, I'll ask for the RP's myself, when I can manage.
Knowing myself, I'll probably join some other RP group(s) in the future, but it won't be until at least LATE this year before then.
As usual with anyone's absence from this site, I can't deal with so many messages in my inbox. I'm going to delete just about everything, but I'll comment/reply where I deem it necessary.
To my friends, I'm really sorry I'm not around anymore. I hope you understand. I want to be around, trust me, I do, but... I guess I no longer have control over that. If I'm not as important or close to you anymore because I've been gone or haven't been here when you needed someone, I'm more sorry than words can say, but I accept that you have to move on. I still do care about you, though, even if it's hard for me to really show my true inner feelings anymore. If you really want to understand me, all you have to do is do even just a tiny bit of research on depression. You'll find nearly all the answers.
And, of course, I'll be cleaning up my gallery and profile and whatnot as I tend to after my absences. I apologize beforehand if I remove something that you may have liked or loved. And a super-minor thing:
I got a 3DS XL back in November, so I'll post up my friend code and such on my profile. Eventually.